GIVING UP MY DREAMS

 

This is not a book related, by it's keep coming back to me, said I needed to write it down. So here it is.

Once upon a time, I was dreaming to be a Dermatologist . I went to Medical school to fulfill my dream. I became a General Practitioner after graduated Medical School, got married and had two wonderful children on the way.

You can guess, my need to be Dermatologist had to postponed for a while.
Then I talk to my husband and told him that I'm going to get my residency to be a Dermatologist. He said, okay, go on.

So I applied to the number one Medical School in my country, had a promotion from my former Professors, I filled all the requirement (I was an excellent student back then) . All I need to do, was setting my time and I'll be in Dermatology internship for four years.

But then, 'that time' was never happened , life happened, my husband met someone else, crazy in love, and he let me go, with the kids in tow. Diverced happened.
With no money in my pocket and two toddlers, and he was being a dead beat father, I had to raise my kids with my own hands. I had to find a job. asap. whatever the job offered me.
It was a very sad year for me, not because I cried over my a**-hole husband, no. But it was because I have to let go of my dreams forever.
I will never be a Dermatologist. 

But there's something about giving up your own dreams, to support another dream. Now my only dream is, to see my children success and happy, have a good life, fulfill their dreams, and make sure they won't give it up theirs.

I am probably a loser in front of anyone's eyes, at least in my fellow doctors eyes, for just being a 'Family Doctor' and a 'Hypnotist', working in Compliance consulting or just being a reader and writing a non profit blog, or working in a non-profit institution for LGBTQ community to help them.  Not a respectable Dermatologist, or Medical Specialist that having a very high place in my country.

But what I am now, is a product of my past. That you can giving up your dream, to live in another dream. Probably not your first grade dream, but eventually, it became your life and you enjoyed every moment of it .

There's one thing I have learned from this life , that

“Life isn't finding shelter in the storm. It's about learning to dance in the rain.”

I met storms in my life, but because of the love for my children, I am learning to dance in the rain.
And  stealing one of my favorite quotes from "ACHERON",  

 ''Heavens gates won't open up for me,
With these broken wings I'm fallin'
And all I see is you''

My children are my truest love of my life... I will never replace them for any dreams...



(2016 REFLECTION)